breastfeeding – Our Everydays

Posted on December 14, 2018June 17, 2020 by Our Everydays — Leave a comment

The End of Breastfeeding [Weaning after Two Years of Nursing – a bittersweet milestone]

The end of breastfeeding is very much like the beginning of breastfeeding- a beautiful irony. My breasts are leaky, I have a bit of engorgement, and as the days pass, I wait for my supply (or end of supply) to regulate itself. A little bit of Mother Nature’s poetry.

It’s been three weeks since my Oliver nursed for the last time, and though there is nostalgia, it has been wonderful. His last time nursing was much more emotional for me than it was for him, as he happily nursed, blissfully unaware that he wouldn’t breastfeed again.

With nothing else other than our love for each other bringing us together now, it’s been wonderful to feel how bonded Oliver and I really are. He still asks to nurse every now and then, and when I say the milk is finished, he puts his hands on his face for a bit, but then easily distracts and we usually end up having a cuddle, or playing a game or singing a song.

Judging by his reaction, I think we were both ready to stop but neither of us wanted to make the first step.

Our two years breastfeeding have been so absolutely wonderful, and I loved every day, hour, minute of it.

From the newborn days where nursing sessions seemed endless and I had to often remind myself that I knew it would get better, to days later on in our breastfeeding journey when I looked forward to him nursing as it was a quiet moment in the day, to the many times when nursing is all he needed to be OK.

I’m proud of us, I am proud of me.

As I end this chapter in my motherhood journey, I feel like I need to share wise words of wisdom, and so I say this.

Breastfeed for as long, or as little, as it feels right for you and your baby.

Do it with love, patience, and confidence knowing it’s what you want to do.

Surround yourself with people who are supportive, and steer clear of those who aren’t.

And more importantly, enjoy the time you and your baby share while nursing.

Some days it will seem like you’re ready to end the journey, other days you will cry thinking about the end, but when you’re ready, you’ll know.

It’s been wonderful.

The End of Breastfeeding Weaning After Extended Breastfeeding Edmonton Mom Blogger (4)

The End of Breastfeeding Weaning After Extended Breastfeeding Edmonton Mom Blogger (1)

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Baby and Toddler Tandem Nursing: An Unexpected turn in our Breastfeeding Journey [Postpartum Series]

A few months ago, my Penelope, my two and a half year old daughter, started nursing again. She stopped breastfeeding on her own shortly before her bother was born, but recently, what started as little curious requests for suckles and kisses, turned into her sitting on my lap, in cradle position, breastfeeding again.

Perhaps she was craving that closeness, or maybe it was simple toddler curiosity, especially as she sees her brother nurse often. Regardless of the why, my girl, the one who very often needs very little from me, was asking me to nurse. I could have easily said “There is no more milk” or “This is for your brother” – and I very well may still say that – but not today. I allowed her to need me, and if I was able to honor a request she had, I was absolutely going to.

When I was pregnant with Oliver, I often wondered what tandem nursing would be like. I imagined holding both my children in my arms, sharing the warmth, comfort and closeness of breastfeeding with them simultaneously. Experiencing that now, when I didn’t expect I would, has been wonderful.

Nursing a toddler, in my experience, is very different than nursing a baby – but maybe not in the way I would have thought. Penelope is a little fire cracker; constantly on the go, full of energy, but then she stops and asks for “leche” (usually when her brother is nursing too) and her little body melts into mine. For a few minutes, she finds a calm and stillness in me, one that I otherwise don’t see very often anymore, and it’s precious. It’s pretty special.

Some days she doesn’t ask to nurse, others she asks more often, but the feed that almost never fails, is before bed time. After stories, I position my children on my lap, and at the same time, nurse them before they go to bed. They smile at each other, they laugh, their little legs intertwined in such a way that allows them to both comfortably fit on my lap, and for about 5 minutes, the three of us just are. As they simultaneously breastfeed, I look down and see the two little humans I carried in my womb. They are completely connected, the closest to how it would have been had they shared a womb, and at their center – me. To experience that, I know I am lucky… even if it’s just for a little while.

But then…

I would be lying if I said I didn’t experience conflicting feelings about all this.

Penelope asking to nurse again after months of being weaned, seemed like a regression, which in definition, it was – a return to a former state. Regression, however, is a word that has such a negative connotation, that part of me began to wonder (and care) what people would say or think. I still did what felt right and intuitive, to me; I just didn’t share it with many people.

The stigmas associated with breastfeeding “timelines”, the criticism, and the pressure from the world on what one must, or must not do, are there. As much as I would like to say I didn’t care, I did. I was afraid of being judged. Fortunately, the confidence in what I was doing returned, and I felt good about it, but also a little hypocritical.

I was comfortable sharing images of me breastfeeding my 10 month old, and yet, I hadn’t shared any images of me tandem nursing my babies.

So today, I share this.

Tandem Baby and Toddler Breastfeeding Journey (6)

I am tandem breastfeeding my baby and toddler, and though it wasn’t something I was expecting, it has become an experience I am completely loving, and one I will cherish forever. I am their mother, I am doing my job, and I there is no shame in that.

*
La Leche League and BACE (Breastfeeding Action Committee of Edmonton) are two amazing breastfeeding groups in Edmonton that I highly recommend whether you’re looking for more information, education or support when it comes to breastfeeding. In the past few months, the meetings and events I attended made a huge difference in my confidence towards my tandem breastfeeding journey.

Posted on June 19, 2017July 30, 2017 by Our Everydays — Leave a comment

Being Fair…

As a second time mom, something I think about quite often is how to be fair when it comes to the kids. From small things like buying the e-x-a-c-t same baby book for both of them, to making sure they both have their birth shadow boxes, to offering them the same snack (now that Oliver is weaning). If I handmade a mobile for Penelope, I had to do one for Oliver too, and the list goes on.

I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s stressful being equal with the children, but I’m certainly aware of it… a lot. Though I feel I have been successful at it so far, I make peace with the fact that I probably won’t be completely successful at it for the rest of my life. I can certainly try, but if I can’t, I know it’s OK too. The effort has to be worth something, right?

One of the things that came together quite spontaneously in the subject of being “fair” with the kids, is ” A Mother’s Love” session I had with both of them around the same time in their lives- Penelope at 3.5 months old and Oliver at 6 months old. Looking at these pictures, I see a few things. 1. Adam and I must only have one position one mold (haha) because I can’t believe how much Penelope and Oliver look like each other. I notice the little subtleties in their faces, Penelope’s softer edges and Oliver’s more prominent features, but they are very much little twins – girl and boy version, 18 months apart. 2. They have such great smiles. 3. Oliver has a lot more hair than Penelope did… and Penelope had a lot of hair for a 3.5 month old. 4. I love the wonderful space that both sessions took place in. Edmonton has so many beautiful little gems all around.

And lastly…

5. I see my smile, the way I look at them when they are nursing, the light in my eyes when they are around, and I know one thing…

One thing I’m never going to have to worry about when it comes to being “fair” with them is how much I love them. I love them with every fiber in my being, with every kiss, with every early morning wake up, every giggle, every hug. I just adore them.

Happy Week! xo

* Beautiful pictures taken by the amazing Vannessa Brown. *

Posted on March 12, 2017May 19, 2017 by Our Everydays — Leave a comment

My Postpartum #1 and #2 (Postpartum Series)

Penelope and Oliver are 18 months apart, and I am currently 3 months postpartum. My pregnancies were pretty straightforward and I had two relatively uncomplicated births. Penelope’s was lonnng, and for Oliver’s, I climbed out of a birth pool with a head already pushed out (yep! haha). With 9+ lbs babies, I had an intact perineum both times and am forever grateful for skin elasticity! Though my postpartum periods and recoveries have been fairly easy, they haven’t been challenge free. In fact, the reason I thought about writing this post is because I’m currently going through a few postpartum complications. I also had challenges that were not directly related to me with each of my babies. By definition, postpartum means the period shortly after childbirth, so it encompasses a lot.

Penelope was born with a tongue tie. As a brand new mom, I remember not even knowing what a tongue tie was, or how it could affect breastfeeding, but with limited tongue mobility, Penelope wasn’t able to latch for longer than seconds at a time. My midwife’s support was instrumental in our breastfeeding success; she recommended we use a nipple shield right away, referred us to the doctor who performed the tongue tie revision, and even provided us the syringes we used to give Penelope top up feeds the first few days of her life. We saw a lactation consultant to evaluate our technique, perhaps that could get Penelope to latch better, but she couldn’t. At two weeks old, Penelope had her tongue tie revision, a short laser surgery that released the frenulum from under her tongue. We had to massage the wound for 4-6 weeks after to make sure the skin didn’t re-attach, but breastfeeding after that was so much better. We successfully weaned off the nipple shield when she was one month old, and breastfed until she self weaned when I got pregnant again.

Oliver was 9 lbs 8 oz when he was born, so I call his postpartum complications #bigbabyproblems ha! He had shoulder dystocia at birth; his anterior shoulder got stuck behind my pubic bone, hence my having to climb out of the birth pool with his head already out- yep. My midwife was amazing again, did some quick manipulation, and my baby was out in seconds, and perfectly healthy. If that wasn’t exciting enough though, the surprises didn’t end there. Two days postpartum, my husband and I noticed his head was still a little misshapen. I figured, vaginal birth, misshapen head, normal right? Nope. He had a cephalohematoma (a WHAT?!). His larger head bruised against my pubic bone during delivery, and caused a swelling on the top of his head. It wasn’t harmful or painful to him, it would go away on its own, and just looked a little (a lot) funny. My midwife and pediatrician told me it could take weeks or months!! to go away. I wanted my baby to have a perfectly shaped head NOW, so the waiting period sucked a little. He also had higher jaundice levels due to the extra bilirubin in his body from the bump, and almost needed light treatment for it. A few days before he turned one month old, his bump disappeared, almost over night, and he has a perfectly shaped head now. His jaundice lasted a little bit longer, but it was completely gone around 2 months old.

In the grand scheme of things, a tongue tie and a cephalohematoma are pretty minor postpartum complications, and I am grateful for my children’s health every day, but when it’s happening to your baby, it’s scary. I was also simultaneously recovering from my own labors at the time, and the first 2 weeks are when I’m most emotional and sensitive. In regards to my postpartum recovery, my first was easy. I had the occasional incontinence accident, but with pelvic floor strengthening exercises, I was able to get that under control fast. The second time around has been a little different; I have mild bladder prolapse this time, still dealing with a little bit of incontinence here and there, and I have the occasional vaginal flatulence accident during yoga class…known to many as a queef #justkeepingitreal (haha).

I know I am only 3 months postpartum, and early in my recovery, but never in my life did I think I would say I go to physio therapy… for my lady parts! ha! My boobs are a completely different shape than they were prebaby, I have stretch marks on my hips, legs and stomach area, and still working to comfortably fit into my prepregnancy jeans. I write about this comfortably for many reasons 1. It’s the reality of a lot of postpartum bodies so I know I’m not alone 2. I have a new confidence in myself since becoming a mother 3. My postpartum body housed and grew two perfect little babies, and I love my new body.

The beauty of motherhood, to me anyway, is how it shapes you in ways you didn’t expect. The challenges it throws at you, sometimes during pregnancy, sometimes in childbirth, sometimes after. We get through the unexpected, and come out of it more confident, stronger, and beautiful. We are just fucking amazing!

Tag: breastfeeding